~ About Me (read this first!)

The quick and dirty:

I’m in my 40’s. I’m a huge geek. Mostly computers. I’m happily married to a huge geek. A few years back, we decided to reproduce. In January of 2003, my darling daughter joined our happy geek household and turned everything upside-down, forever.

This is a good thing.

But for most of the past 4+ years since then, I haven’t found the time to write about it. Sure, a few entries in a personal blog here or there – emails to family and friends – the odd chat with another sympathetic mom. But nothing formalized. Nothing public.

I thought it was about time to change that.

It’s hard to be an “older” Mom – even if you’re one of the many celebrities out there doing it these days. There’s nothing like finding yourself talking to a woman you believe is the Mom of the child your child is playing with on the playground and thinking “wow! We have so much in common! At last a Mom I can relate to!” only to have her turn to the child and say “Come on Suzy! Grandma’s got to get you home – Mommy will be waiting!” All the while realizing that she’s somewhere within a few years of your age.

It’s hard to be a Geek Mom – because when other Moms sit down around the edge of the playground or the occasional Moms-night-out Table, they want to talk about normal June Cleaveresque, Suburban Mom things. They’re not so much into the latest technology news, or what MMORPG you’re presently obsessed by. They don’t care that you just scored a deal on the hottest bleeding-edge must-have gadget. The issues of when to address the need to customize your firewall so that your child can’t accidentally access inappropriate content and the pros & cons of running your own DNS server to accomodate for that is far from their minds. Merely stating that your child had a domain name before she had a birth certificate comes across as loony behavior that can cause them to pick up and move to the other side of the park bench.

The only place I can find aging geek Moms with any regularity is here on the Internet.

So be it. I’ll write it… and if you’ve found me and read this far? Maybe you’ll stick around and play.

I won’t promise that it will all be ‘geekish’ posts, or ‘oldish’ posts. After all, I face the same issues anyone else trying to raise a little girl in America in the first part of the 21st Century does… but I do promise that it will be all through the eyes of this GeekMommy.

And so, let’s get on with this, shall we?


32 Responses to “~ About Me (read this first!)”

  1. There is nothing worse then a “moms night out” when the whole converstaion is around whose kid pisses higher on the fence, I brought up a current event once at one of those dreaded “nights out” and got a look of death and have not been invited back, its nice to “know” another mom who is into other things then just being a mom, cant wait to read more!!

  2. Yeah, there are fewer of us who got that we are people first, who happen to have chosen to be moms… but that didn’t mean we suddenly stopped having interests and hobbies outside our offspring!

    Nice to meet you Mandy!

  3. for what its worth my daughter had a domain before a birth certificate. ;)

  4. Yep – Buttercup’s domain was registered 3 months before she was born! :P

  5. Isn’t ‘mom’s night out’ supposed to be OUT, like away from family and kids? The gals at my church have a mom’s bible study too, but I haven’t joined because, though I love my church, I really just need girl-time, not necessarily mom-time. I get that all day long.

    I’m glad I ran into your blog, though I can’t remember how or where. I have the same issues when I say something like, “so I was reading about ____ on this blog the other day…” and get blank stares as their eyes fog over at the word “blog”.

    Though I can’t relate to the age issue, I do get where you’re coming from. A gal in my multiples group is 50 and just had triplets a couple of years ago! And, she already has adult children, so her grandkids are the same age as her kids. You’re so not alone!

  6. It’s funny how many of us “alternate” mommies I’ve met online since I started this project! :)
    It’s actually pretty cool! :)
    Nice to meet you too Natalie

  7. I’m a quasi-geek and a step-grandmother and have been raising two grands since they were babies…Katie is 16 (yikes) and Blake is 12. In short, I married their grandfather and since their mother is having a lot of trouble living life on life’s terms, I won the kids!

    I was 35 when I married for the first time, my hubby a 48 y/o widower. I had no kids and he had a vasectomy (reversal didn’t work :p) so I think God knew there were going to be a couple of kids who needed a “mom.” I’m 50 and I know exactly what you mean about young moms. Except the weird thing is, I’m the grandma AND the mom! So I’m REALLY and misfit!

    To add to the misfit, I’m one of just a few North Floridians into social media, so it’s hard to find ANYONE to talk to about ANYTHING…women my age don’t have kids at home OR know anything about twitter, linkedin, pownce, plaxo, etc! It’s getting more and more difficult for me to have a conversation with anyone in “real” life. :-)

    It’s nice to find you!

  8. @jeannebreault – Well it’s definitely nice to meet you too!!

    We are both misfits in our own ways and yet we have so much in common! The biggest blessing of the Internet for me was finding out that I could reach out and find so many other square pegs rather than trying to figure out how to cram myself into that round hole! :)

    Looking forward to your insight! and welcome to my corner of the Internet…

  9. It is such a great pleasure to have met you. Thank you for including me in your internet life!

  10. :)

  11. I’m a total geekazoid, I’m 41, and I’m a mom. Even worse… I’m a full-time grad student! I don’t know what’s worse, trying to make conversation with non-geek moms or trying to hang out with twenty-year-old single grad students. Most of the time I just feel like a stranger in a strange land, so it’s nice to bump into people like me while sliding through this never-ending series of tubes.

  12. @Cindy – see, I’m supposed to be finishing out this MSCIT degree too… but I keep registering then finding reasons to put it off again – mostly it’s that it’s hard to be the 40-something already-taught-university-so-why-are-you-getting-another-degree woman in the room, as I’m sure you’ve noted! :P

    I’ve followed you on Twitter – hope to get to know you better fellow Geek Mommy!

  13. Hi Geek Mommy!

    I found your site while doing research for my book on mobile marketing. You had commented on a blog I was reading about the guy who followed 1000 people on Twitter as an experiment. I liked what you said about how to decide who to follow and so I clicked into your blog. Love it!

    Hope to see you around Twitter and the blogosphere.

    HighTechMom over at my blog that is being neglected because of the aforementioned book.

  14. Thanks Kim!

    Looking forward to seeing you on Twitter – I added you back – and looking forward to seeing your book!!

    If you haven’t as yet, definitely check out @jowyang – Jeremiah Owyang – he’s the best source of information I’ve found about social media as a Marketing tool.
    His http://web-strategist.com/blog/ is amazing! :)

  15. I’ve always enjoyed reading your blog and catching up with you on Twitter. But I never really thought of it before–I’ll be able to relate to being a Geek Mommy someday! (I hope) ;-) I’m 34, no family yet–and oh, am I a geek. ;-) We’ll just need to have a Geek Mommy Tweet-up, that’s the solution. ;-)

  16. @mousewords – agreed! and I didn’t have my daughter until I was 36… there’s no such thing as a *wrong* time to start a family! :)

  17. Audio Adventures for Kids
    Dear GeekMom,

    Buttercup, as a toddler, would be the perfect age for this:

    All parents have these questions: How to get their kids to bed? How to limit their TV watching? What to do on a car ride? There is one easy answer to all these: Audio adventures!

    Audio adventures are different from audio books, storytelling or music for kids. They are professionally produced with full cast voice acting, music, and sound effects that hearken back to the days of radio dramas and it’s potential for imagination.

    “Selfishly, I love Billy Browns because he, unlike anything else, has managed to keep Annabella in her room at bedtime. She’s had trouble falling asleep since we transitioned to a bed almost three years ago. But we put on a little Billy Brown and she’s in there for good.” writes JumpingMonkeys.

    A FREE download of Giddio’s award-winning audio adventure “Billy Brown And The Mystery Package” is available at http://www.Giddio.com ! Now all your readers can try out whether their kids will like Billy Brown and his friends, and how audio adventures can help with parenting like they have done in Germany since the 70s.

    Please, feel free to contact me to request a review copy of this intelligent entertainment for kids!

    All the best,

    Jens, Top Kid

    Giddio – Audio adventures for kids!

  18. I’m not sure what to think about you saying you’re “aging”, because you looked so much younger in that chat last night (with QoS)!

    I don’t know that I’m quite as geeky as you, but all our kids had domain names before birth and we are the geekiest people around, every where we go.

    Love your blog!


  19. wait, what playgroud are YOU playing at.. (sigh)

    nobody cares about my iPhone or my Twitter account(s) or the lastest beta I am testing. They think I am nuts.

    I am enjoying your blog.. so keep it up!!

  20. @Mammaren – if I could, I’d play at the one you guys go to! So I could drool over your iPhone and compare twitter obsessions! :)
    And yeah, beta testing rules!

  21. Just found your blog when I was googling how to block swearing on the tweets that I’m following. No such luck in finding the solution, but I found a gem in your blog!

    I’m in my 40s and have much older kids (my son will be 21 in 9 weeks)… yikes. I have taught high school tech classes for about 6 years. While I’ve been a geek and Mac user since 1987, my students really launched me into true geek-dom. Some of them love to clue me in on the latest fun tech stuff. I even brought a sandwich and coffee to one of my former students who had camped out last year for an iPhone.

    I am enjoying your blog so much.

  22. So glad I found you! I too, am a 40-something geekmom (to a kindergartener). The above “about me” could be my own.

    Looking forward to reading you regularly.

  23. Hi – I saw you on Dennis Howlett’s profile and being a geek and a Mummy I thought I’d say Hi. Becks

  24. Wow. Are you, me?
    me: 40yo mom to a two year old.. total geek even with the geeky web job. And I love Jeremiah Owyang’s site, even went to a bloggers meetup with him. And I miss my MMORPG days.
    I think I love you.

  25. OK GeekMommy…the domain for your child before the birth certificate is very funny…and believable! I’d do it too. ~Dulcita Love, Asheville, NC @dulcitalove on Twitter.

  26. Love the prose; you’ve made it this far – it doesn’t appear as if being an older Mommy, and a geek, is a hard thing for you…or will be going forward.

    Look forward to reading more…

  27. I have yet to actually CONNECT deeply with any moms. I hate playgroups, I loathe all of it. My daughter is almost 2 and most of m friends are single or DINKS. I feel lonely – but I would rather be lonley then faking it. Real connections will come – but I refuse to force them! Scout had an email address before she was even born! I relate, I relate! Oh, and my husband is 47 – so he gets “Is this your Grandaughter ALL the time.” Wow, crazy! Thanks for writing, blogging, twittereing, etc!!! Hugs to GEEKMOMMY!

  28. @CMLisaY @cartoongoddess @Becky @Liz @Dulcita @Eric — thank you for the positive feedback! You know how nice it is to know you’re on the right track?
    Thanks for finding me – and looking forward to your insights!

    @Ashley – you know we really DO need to have coffee soon! :) I’m with you on that! (((hug)))

  29. You are so lucky to have figured this out relatively early. It took me years and years of hitting my head against a brick wall to figure out that I was never gonna jibe with the stay-at-home, non-techno-geek, Suzy crafter making all the kids clothes by hand kind of mom (NOT that there is anything wrong with all of the above: it just ain’t me). Now that my child is older, he appreciates all my geekiness. (Wow, Mom can help me build my own website? Cool.)

    Embrace it, we are here and we are legion!

  30. Hi Geekmommy,

    I followed the url you had on your Twitter. And I haven’t really been on your site yet. So here I am.

    I recognize myself in a lot of things you describe above. I’m a geek and a mommy. And even though I may still be young, I feel like I can only find similar women and mothers on the Internet. My real life friends aren’t as geeky as me. They usually know how to turn on a PC and that’s it. So I’m happy I found you on Twitter and here.

    In case you’re lost, I’m @rosiewosie on Twitter :-)

  31. GeekMommy,

    I hear you. Never mind about not having other geek mommy friends, I have no geek friends, period. My husband is a huge geek, but he is not a web 2.0 type or person. Or email person. More like a hermit scientist. He says he’s waiting for web 3.0. :) So I feel pretty isolated, I have ton of ideas and no one else to share them with. So, I’m changing that. I just joined Twitter (@carlisia), started following you actually, put up a blog, and that’s that. Ah, and at my next jobs, I will never talk about kiddies again. Once you do it once, they (the guys!) think they found someone who will enjoy talking about that all the time. I mean, that (work time) is the time I have to collaborate and exchange ideas. Or are you going to come over my house on the weekend and talk about technology conquests? Come on!

  32. Ah, yes, almost forgot to make my point: I appreciate knowing people who I can talk to about kids who are also going to be interested in talking about other things, especially geekness. That’s why I’m so happy to have found your blog!

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