So Let’s Start With Today… Anubis Disapproves.
I should be asleep. I’m sick, I’m achy, I’m shaky and I’m exhausted.
But I just have to share this one before I can let the mad stew of pills I had to take earlier overcome me and send me off to disturbed slumber.
Today was the first day that I got to go “help” out in Buttercup’s new preschool. I’m sure I made an interesting impression.
In the old preschool, parental presence in the classroom was verbotten… I assume that was really due mostly to the fact that none of the trophy-wives wanted to have to spend their time in the class with all of those annoying kids, so the made it against the rules. That way they didn’t need to feel guilty when some parent who actually wanted to be involved with their offspring’s education showed up regularly but they didn’t. Seriously – those of us without au pairs picking up the kids regularly were looked at as potential enemies on that front.
So I was all kinds of giddy about being able to come help out in the classroom this year whenever I wanted!! We had to wait until October – to give the kids the chance to get used to just being with the teachers – but there were several of us chomping at the bit. Last week, I signed up for today – forgetting that Tuesdays the class has less than half the component (unrelated long story) but fortunately, it was baking day, so the teachers were happy for an extra set of hands.
That’s where this is going, you know… Hands.
Anubis is an inside joke in our family… and a joke we’ve shared with so many for so long that it has spread across the country to other circles of friends.
See, if I weren’t just using an old photo I already had up on the internet of it to illustrate, I’d probably add one from the head on position – so that you can see that extending the 1st and 4th fingers, while resting the 2nd and 3rd on the thumb gives an uncanny resemblance to the Egyptian god Anubis.
Animated gifs could show you the wide variety of emotional expressions Anubis has, if I weren’t too lazy to make them.
Anubis does many things. Anubis approves. Anubis disapproves. Anubis blows chunks. Anubis will help you find your keys or something to eat in the fridge. Anubis will make your toddler laugh hysterically.
So I suppose it’s only natural that our 4 year old daughter can and regularly does utilize Anubis as well. No, of course she’s not up on the mythos… but she can roll right along with the rest of us, thanks.
So now, take yourself back with me to earlier today. We’re at preschool. Buttercup’s Roman Catholic Preschool. You know, the kind where the preschool teachers are there because it’s what you do when you’re a good Catholic and a teacher? The kind that asked us if we were in the parish (we’re not, we get charged extra) and made sure we knew ahead of time that God/Jesus etc is mentioned there (duh, it’s a Catholic preschool…) but are willing to educate our heathenish child nonetheless.
Not nuns, mind you. Nuns-as-teachers aren’t really shockable (trust me on this one.) Nice Catholic preschool teachers? That’s a different matter.
We’re sitting in a circle. Ms. M (one of her two teachers) sticks up her index finger, not unlike this:
And launches into that old Christian classic children’s song “This Little Light of Mine” – Ms. M gets just a few words in when my child, sitting next to me says loudly for all and sundry to hear “Hey Mommy!! That is almost just like Anubis!! See?” and proceeds to throw up the ears.
Ms. M lurches to a halt. A silence descends over all the children. Creepy that.
“What’s that Buttercup? What does it remind you of?”
My hand shoots out to cover my daughter’s trying desperately reconfigure it back to the little make-believe candle the rest of the preschoolers have up… Ms. M looks directly at me and says “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that… what did she say?”
Could it be possible? Or is she just giving me an out?
*Cough* *Cough* “I’m sorry for the interruption Ms. M – it’s an inside family joke… please continue with the song, I just love this song!” whilst still attempting to wrangle my small child’s wriggling hand back into conformity.
Buttercup mumbles something else about Anubis thinking that I must not have heard her – and I lean over and whisper “not now Buttercup, we’ll talk about it later…” and launch into that godawful Little Light song as lustily as I can without seeming too weird. And to her credit Ms. M only looked askance at me once more during the song.
When we got home – I explained that Anubis was a family thing – we didn’t share it with outsiders… certainly not with teachers. Buttercup corrected me that we could share it with family and some friends, but only friends of the family – and I agreed. Seriously.
We are going to be known as “that” family if we stay with parochial school… you know?
Well I suppose it could’ve been worse. She could’ve flipped off the teacher and said “hey, that looks like the symbol for Fuck You!!”
I’m still laughing about it…
But Anubis? Anubis disapproves.