Comments on: You’re Not the Boss of Me. You’re Not the “Teller of Me What to Do”!! http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/youre-not-the-boss-of-me-youre-not-the-teller-of-me-what-to-do/ I'm a geek. I'm past 40. I'm mom to a preschooler. It's always an adventure. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:18:52 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: geekmommy http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/youre-not-the-boss-of-me-youre-not-the-teller-of-me-what-to-do/#comment-177 geekmommy Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:25:24 +0000 http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-177 Nice to meet you Miss M... I'm convinced all of us 'geek' moms are a bit too aware of the nurture v. nature experiment that we call parenting! :) But yeah, it's amazing sometimes how you take the experience you had with your own parents and replay it to see if it was effective or not before interacting with your child(ren) isn't it? :) p.s. thanks for following me on Twitter, I've added you there as well! Nice to meet you Miss M… I’m convinced all of us ‘geek’ moms are a bit too aware of the nurture v. nature experiment that we call parenting! :)

But yeah, it’s amazing sometimes how you take the experience you had with your own parents and replay it to see if it was effective or not before interacting with your child(ren) isn’t it?

:)
p.s. thanks for following me on Twitter, I’ve added you there as well!

]]> By: MissM http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/youre-not-the-boss-of-me-youre-not-the-teller-of-me-what-to-do/#comment-176 MissM Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:27:07 +0000 http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-176 I have two teenage boys and I believe that genetics plays a big part in personality, but Buttercup and my son both have the advantage of not growing up with our Moms. I was comforted by the fact that our awareness of the challenges helps our children move past the challenges we see for them. :) I'm hopeful, but I'm still working on mine, and he's 14 :) a fellow 'GeekMom' I have two teenage boys and I believe that genetics plays a big part in personality, but Buttercup and my son both have the advantage of not growing up with our Moms. I was comforted by the fact that our awareness of the challenges helps our children move past the challenges we see for them. :)
I’m hopeful, but I’m still working on mine, and he’s 14 :)
a fellow ‘GeekMom’

]]> By: geekmommy http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/youre-not-the-boss-of-me-youre-not-the-teller-of-me-what-to-do/#comment-156 geekmommy Thu, 07 Feb 2008 06:07:07 +0000 http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-156 Heh!!! Some good points Sorrow - no foot in it. I admit readily she comes by most of her less palatable traits from me - whether by example or by genetics! But if it were by example, there'd be a *heckuva* lot more "pleases" and "thank yous" thrown in. Honestly? I'm still um... let's call it 'commanding' sounds nicer! But seldom "bossy" any more. Trying to get her to understand that saying "T - I can't see, will you please sit down?" is going to go farther than "T - sit down you are in my way!" seems an uphill task. Yeah, I actually have mellowed a lot more than you'd imagine. GeekDaddy had that effect on me. I know - because Uncle J backed me up on the whole thing tonight!! Including the 'how much I've changed' part! Hah! :) But yeah... more worried about her than about me! I know how now to get someone who detests me to adore me if I want them to. She's still mystified by that. :P Heh!!! Some good points Sorrow – no foot in it. I admit readily she comes by most of her less palatable traits from me – whether by example or by genetics!

But if it were by example, there’d be a *heckuva* lot more “pleases” and “thank yous” thrown in.

Honestly? I’m still um… let’s call it ‘commanding’ sounds nicer! But seldom “bossy” any more. Trying to get her to understand that saying “T – I can’t see, will you please sit down?” is going to go farther than “T – sit down you are in my way!” seems an uphill task.

Yeah, I actually have mellowed a lot more than you’d imagine. GeekDaddy had that effect on me. I know – because Uncle J backed me up on the whole thing tonight!! Including the ‘how much I’ve changed’ part! Hah! :)

But yeah… more worried about her than about me! I know how now to get someone who detests me to adore me if I want them to. She’s still mystified by that.
:P

]]> By: Sorrow http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/youre-not-the-boss-of-me-youre-not-the-teller-of-me-what-to-do/#comment-155 Sorrow Thu, 07 Feb 2008 03:36:46 +0000 http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-155 okay love, I am going to really stick my foot in it. I will take full responsibility for the mess I am about to make. Sigh There are things you can not change. Not because they are ingrained or hereditary or some such nonsense, but because our little sponges watch our every move. So, what we do and what we say and what we THINK we are doing and how we THINK we are acting translate to there behavior. The 15 year old has his fathers temper. He can rage like a tyrant, and come back after he's cooled down and be all sorry, just like his dad. The little munchkin thinks she has the answer to everything and is more than willing to share it, hmmm now where the heck do you think she got that from? ( ~snort~ ) I am going to take a guess that even though you have mellowed with age, you can still be bossy, and buttercup sees it and emulates it. My heartfelt suggestion is to continue to work on you, and as Buttercup grows up tell her what you are doing. Explain that " I am doing this because I don't want to be... or i want to be...." For me the best improvements in my kids have been when i fixed it in myself first. Oh and the prayers are a coming LOVE! ((((HUGS)))) okay love, I am going to really stick my foot in it. I will take full responsibility for the mess I am about to make.
Sigh
There are things you can not change. Not because they are ingrained or hereditary or some such nonsense, but because our little sponges watch our every move. So, what we do and what we say and what we THINK we are doing and how we THINK we are acting translate to there behavior. The 15 year old has his fathers temper. He can rage like a tyrant, and come back after he’s cooled down and be all sorry, just like his dad. The little munchkin thinks she has the answer to everything and is more than willing to share it, hmmm now where the heck do you think she got that from? ( ~snort~ ) I am going to take a guess that even though you have mellowed with age, you can still be bossy, and buttercup sees it and emulates it.
My heartfelt suggestion is to continue to work on you, and as Buttercup grows up tell her what you are doing. Explain that ” I am doing this because I don’t want to be… or i want to be….” For me the best improvements in my kids have been when i fixed it in myself first.
Oh and the prayers are a coming LOVE!
((((HUGS))))

]]> By: geekmommy http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/youre-not-the-boss-of-me-youre-not-the-teller-of-me-what-to-do/#comment-153 geekmommy Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:04:08 +0000 http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-153 Good suggestion - but I've done that in the past - and T is one of those 'oh she of little words' - head nods and shakes... then she can't take the seriousness of it and bursts out with something like "did you see the cat butt?" and they both laugh and so much for that! :P 5 y.o. mentality. Sigh. Good suggestion – but I’ve done that in the past – and T is one of those ‘oh she of little words’ – head nods and shakes… then she can’t take the seriousness of it and bursts out with something like “did you see the cat butt?” and they both laugh and so much for that! :P

5 y.o. mentality. Sigh.

]]> By: maxwebdotnet http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/youre-not-the-boss-of-me-youre-not-the-teller-of-me-what-to-do/#comment-151 maxwebdotnet Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:46:51 +0000 http://geekmommy.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-151 One suggestion, since you have a captive audience with Trixie in the car many times a week, why not ask Trixie (in front of Buttercup) how it makes her feel when Buttercup bosses her around. If you make a safe environment for discussion and if Trixie truly can take or leave the friends (I know the type) then you may get a helpful answer out of her that will impact your daughter. Just a thought. Good luck! One suggestion, since you have a captive audience with Trixie in the car many times a week, why not ask Trixie (in front of Buttercup) how it makes her feel when Buttercup bosses her around. If you make a safe environment for discussion and if Trixie truly can take or leave the friends (I know the type) then you may get a helpful answer out of her that will impact your daughter.

Just a thought.

Good luck!

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